Iyo umwe mu bashakanye ashaka imibonano mpuzabitsina kenshi undi gake,hakorwa iki?

Nibyo si igitangaza gusanga mu bashakanye, uburyo bakundamo, bashakamo imibonano butangana. Hari igihe usanga ari umugabo uba ashaka kubikora buri munsi na buri mwanya cyangwa se ugasanga umugore na we ahora abwira umugabo we ko abishaka.

Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe kuva ku itariki ya 7 Gashyantare 2020 n’ishyirahamwe ry’abagore ryitwa ‘NousToutes’ binyuze ku rubuga rwabo noustoutes.org,bukorerwa ku itsinda ry’abagore 100.000 ku bijyanye n’ubwumvikane mu gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina bwagaragaje ko benshi mu bagore bakora imibonanao mpuzabitsina ku gahato.

Ubu bushakashatsi bwakozwe mu gihe cy’iminsi icumi bwagaragaje ko abagore 9 ku 10 bavuga ko bahatirwa gukorwa imibonano mpuzabitsina n’abagabo babo.

Ababajijwe berekanye ko imibonano mpuzabitsina igaragaramo ubusumbane. abagore 9 kuri 10 bavuga ko bashyirwaho igitutu cyo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina n’abo bashakanye.

81.2% cy’abakozweho ubushakashatsi bavuze ko bahura n’ihohoterwa mu bijyanye n’imyumvire,ku mubiri cyangwa se ku gitsina.Muri uku guhatirwa gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ngo hari ubwo abagabo babao barakara bakababwira amagambo abatesha agaciro nka “Nturi muzima,abandi bagore barabyemera,imyumvire yawe ntiteye imbere,…”

Iki ni kimwe mu bibazo ingo zigira, aho usanga bamwe baganyira bagenzi babo ati noneho ubo atashye simukira, ati reka ninywere ntahe nasinze ntari bunsarane n’ibindi nka byo. Nyamara kandi uyu si wo muti ahubwo hari ibyakorwa bikabafasha kumvikana kandi mukabigendanamo neza nk’uko iyi nkuru igiye kubivuga.

1. Niba ari wowe uhorana ubushake bwo gukora imibonano si byiza guhoza ku nkeke uwo mwashakanye. Ibuka ko nubwo iyo umuntu ashonje aba yumva yahita arya, ariko ko hari igihe usonza bitarashya, ndetse ko no kwiyiriza bishoboka. Uko wihangana ni na ko ubushake buzarushaho kuzamuka birumvikana maze aho uwo mwashakanye yemereye ko mubikora urusheho kuryoherwa, kuruta ko wabikora atabishaka.
2. Girira impuhwe uwo udashaka imibonano kuko nyine ntibiramujyamo. Ahubwo aho kumuhatira imibonano bitamurimo, shaka icyo wakora akabishaka na we. Harimo kumuganiriza neza, ka massage gatuje, kumusohokana mugasangira, gukemura ibibazo mufitanye se, n’ikindi cyose wakora akarushaho kubishaka. Wimurakarira niba akubwiye ko atabishaka ahubwo mufatanye gushaka igituma atabishaka, n’uburyo na we yabishaka
3. Niba ari wowe utabishaka, wikumva ko kuba abishaka kenshi ari ishyano ryaguye kuko ni ko ateye nyine ubwo. Ibuka ko mugomba kubana muri byose, kumushimisha ntacyo byagutwara kuko n’ubundi nubikora ntabwo uri bupfe erega. Wenda kuryoherwa ntibiri bukunde nk’iyo ubishaka ariko byibuze we araryoherwa, kandi nawe numufata neza, wenda igihe uzagira ibihe nk’ibyo arimo na we azakumva.
4. Uko ukundira uwo mwashakanye kumufasha, hari igihe nawe bigufasha ubushake bukagenda buza. Rimwe na rimwe niba byari ukumurakarira cyangwa se indi mpamvu yatumaga utabishaka hari igihe uko wemeye kubikora ari ko nawe uba wivura
5. Ubusanzwe urugo ni ugusangira byose no gusabana. Ukanshimira hano nanjye nkagushimira hariya dore ko akaryana mu nkanda kanaryana mu ihururu. Umwe niyumva icyifuzo cya mugenzi we byose bizagenda neza, kandi kubiganiraho biri mu bizabafasha kubicyemura neza mu bwumvikane nyabwo.

Ibi ni byo ubujyanama bwagaratseho,ariko birashoboka ko haba hari ibindi bikorwa binyuranye byafasha abashakanye kugenzura no kubana neza igihe umwe muri bo ahora yumva ashaka gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina cyane kurusha uko mugenzi we abishaka.

MWIZERWA Ally